You guys probably know from my poetry post of about two weeks ago that I had a lot of problems with my roommates. I was getting bullied pretty badly, but that’s all over now. I’m in a great new room and I really like my new roommate. I’m okay, I promise, despite how this poem might sound. I actually wrote this one before the first one and before I decided to move rooms, so you can see the added despair of not knowing when it was going to end.
But like I said, it’s all over now, and I’m doing great! I wouldn’t even post this, because part of me just wants to forget, but gosh darn it, it’s a really good poem and I’m running low on blog fodder. So here you go.
The Loneliness of Contempt
It’s been a long time since you felt this way
Like you’re drowning in contempt,
Swimming in pain.
What are you supposed to do
When the reason they hate you
Is just that you’re you?
When you’ve caved in and bowed down,
When you’ve played all their games
And it still ends up the same?
When you run and hide
You spend all your time outside
Of their house…
Because it is their house.
You’re only a trespasser,
A servant meant to bow down to your masters.
They use you when they can
And then abuse you when they can’t
If you do one wrong thing,
Be ready for Hell
Because Lord knows they’ll tell you.
Never mind their own failings
Or planks in their eye
And never mind how hard you try
You’re tired…
You’re tired of pain, of bullies, of comments that bite
Tired of their laughter turning to
Crickets in the night,
Because their silence, sometimes,
Is even worse than their spite.
You’re tired of teasing
That constant jibing without reason
Even if what feels like an eternity
Is only a season.
Even if it all ends soon,
You’re tired of feeling lonely
When there’s two other people in the room.
I hope you liked it. I hope the poem touched you somehow and if you’ve been feeling like me, I want you to know that you can feel better again. The most important thing I did to get out of that bad situation was to talk to someone, in my case, my mom and my RA. If it’s a roommate issue you’re having, understand that sometimes, you just can’t fix the situation and the best thing to do is to remove yourself from it.
My post tomorrow will be a more lighthearted advice post on being a good blog reader. Because Lord knows there’s been enough advice on how to be a good blog writer.
See y’all tomorrow!
Susannah Contra Mundum 