I want to preface this by saying that I like guys. That’s the reason I’m on a dating site. I’d kinda like to find one of my own. If you’re a guy reading this, know that I’m not going to be mean (sarcastic, oh yes), and I really do want to help.
And boy do you need help.
Having spent a few weeks on Christian Mingle, I’ve noticed a few trends among the fellows whose profiles I have viewed. Below are a collection of my tips for guys who are trying to find that special lady on a dating site.
1. NO ONE looks good in a low-angle picture.
This is probably the most egregious assault on the eyes that I have noticed. I don’t understand what it is with guys and low-angle photos. Do you think that you’re going to look bigger and more powerful?
Because you don’t. You look dumb. Let me illustrate.
The below picture is me from today. I took it from a straight on angle.
It’s not the best picture. My phone doesn’t really take good pictures. But it doesn’t have to be perfect. I look good enough in it.
Now let me show you a low-angle photo. Same basic smile and same outfit.
It’s not attractive. It’s never attractive. No one wants to look up your nose. Even if you don’t have them, this kind of photo makes you look like you have three chins.
So fellas, if you’re looking for Mrs. Right, avoid the low-angle photos.
2. Just have YOU in your main profile photo
I don’t know about other dating sites, but Christian Mingle lets you choose several photos, but there’s one main one that everyone will see. This ought to be your best photo, and more importantly, it needs be to just you.
There will be plenty of other photos that can show off your cool car or how fun you are with your friends. Your main profile photo is not the photo to do that in. I can’t tell you how many times I have clicked on someone’s profile, just to find out that the person I thought I was interested in was not the correct person out of the ten in the profile photo.
No one likes guessing games. Girls don’t like having to guess which guy she’s looking at. So just stick to you in the profile photo. Because if it’s more than one person, chances are that girls are going to decide to pass on you just to avoid the detective work.
3. Show your FACE in the profile
It’s a stereotype that guys are more visual than girls, and that’s true to a certain extent, but girls are looking for someone easy on the eyes as well. It’s all well and good to be attracted to someone’s mind and heart, but if we’re not also attracted to you physically, well… You’re probably out of luck.
Do not make your profile photo a picture of you on your bike in a motorcycle helmet, no matter how cool it looks. Don’t make it a picture of you, but from really far away, so that your face is indistinguishable. And for the love of God, do not make your profile picture a photo of your abs. We like abs, yes, but your face needs to be nice too.
This goes back to point I made in the last one. No one wants to go digging to find out what you look like.
Also, as a side note, make sure the photo you’re submitting fits the specs of the site. I have had to click on many a headless man to see what his face looks like because he didn’t bother to make sure I could see it. Crop your photos!
The take-away here: Faces are important.
4. Do not make your profile photo a picture of you and another girl your age
I don’t care if it’s your sister. I don’t care if it’s your cousin. I don’t care if it’s the best picture of you ever taken. Having a girl (especially just you and a girl) in your photo will make me think you’re unavailable.
This actually goes for all of your photos, and not just your profile photo. Especially if you don’t write a caption explaining who the girl is, that makes your profile an automatic no-go.
Again, crop your photos. We’ll understand a cropped photo.
Another side note: Maybe don’t make every picture a photo of you with your mom either. That’s… um, a tad bit weird.
5. Don’t lie on your profile
If you aren’t a brain surgeon, don’t say you’re a brain surgeon. If you are in brain surgery school, that’s cool. Just don’t call yourself a brain surgeon. There are few things that ladies hate more than lying.
By the way, it’s possible to lie in your pictures. If every photo of you is you with your very attractive friends, and you’re not a particularly attractive guy, then you’re probably relying on girls thinking your friends are you (or at least, that’s what we’ll think). And that’s obnoxious.
Look, I get it. I’m not a supermodel. I don’t always like how I look. But don’t try to hide who you are, whether that’s in how you look or what you’re like as a person. If you’re on a site like this for the right reasons, then you want someone to message you and eventually fall in love with you for who you are, not who you’re pretending to be.
6. Fill out all the questions
In the same vein of “girls want to know who you are,” go ahead and fill out any questions that the site asks you. Don’t be afraid to be yourself.
Sure there have been times when I’ve read something someone wrote that made me uninterested, but there have been many more times when I just couldn’t find out anything about them, so I decided that it wasn’t worth it. Don’t give a girl a reason to turn away.
Personally, for me, politics is very important. I’m quite conservative, so I likely wouldn’t be able to date a liberal for very long (maybe a little bit, if he was really cute. Just being honest here). I have found myself reading someone’s bio and made it to the politics section and found nothing, and then I just decided not to keep looking.
You want to give the ladies you want to attract a reason to be attracted to you beyond the physical motivation. Like I said before, girls aren’t as visually-oriented as guys are. We need the physical attraction, but we also need to be attracted to the mind and heart more.
Don’t look like you’re depressed to be there. Everyone likes to see people happy. I won’t begrudge you your sexy, debonair, smolder stare, but don’t make that every picture.
8. Do NOT make a joke profile
Most of these I’ve seen are from younger guys. I’m sure they think it’s funny. But yeah, not so much for people who are really looking. Or maybe I don’t share your sense of humor.
Just don’t do it, okay? It’s super annoying.
That’s about all I can think of right now. I sincerely hope this list is helpful for some guys. And girls, if you find yourself violating any of these tips, then you might want to change too. I’m sure girls have their own annoying issues on dating sites, but I wouldn’t know. I’m not looking for a lady.
I want a manly man.
Do you have any dating site tips? Let me know in the comments.