My Biggest Flaw

Those of you who have been around my blog long enough already know what my biggest flaw is. You know how annoying it is that every once in a while, I’ll do a post every day, and then you won’t see me again for a month. That’s because my biggest vice is my lack of consistency.

There are so many things I want to do, but hesitate to begin because I will be required to be consistent about something. Personally, I would like to blog every day. I’m sure there are those of you who remember my ill-fated attempt to do NaBloPoMo, so you know how that turned out. It’s not even lack of ideas that stops me from blogging a lot. Lord knows my brain wouldn’t keep me up until three in the morning if that were the case. I just… get distracted and forget about it. Honestly, how I have over 400 followers on this blog I have no idea.

I would also like to keep up with my literary magazine, Estuary. But I’ve been neglecting that for far too long. I’m not sure why I thought it would be a good idea to give myself a weekly schedule on that thing. That worked for about a week and a half. At this point, I think it would be better to shut it down than to keep it open, but not deliver on the promise of getting back to people.

I want to finish working on the novel projects I’m doing. I want to finish the three books that I’m in the middle of. I need to finish rewriting the first one, so I can get the dang thing published already. Writer’s block is something of an excuse for the first few, but I can’t even use that for the rewrite, because it’s not a matter of coming up with the story from scratch; I just have to write it better (which, now that I think about it, is just as nerve-wracking). In the same vein, I know that if I want to be a successful author, I’m going to need to use my author page on Facebook more often, or my fans (when I have them) will forget me. Right now, Facebook is screaming at me that I haven’t used that page in 6 days.

I would like to use the excuse “I don’t have time,” but as most people who use that excuse frequently know (at least on the inside), that it’s a lie. I do have time, but I fill it with other things. I read, I binge-watch my favorite shows, I write other stuff.

I think my main problem is that I’m too easily distracted. I’m easily entertained, which is why I can just stare at the ceiling for hours while thinking through a new idea. But I’m also easily bored. Or rather, I get bored fast. I find the idea of sitting anywhere doing the same thing for days or weeks on end is horrifying. It’s part of the reason that I like writing and coming up with stories so much. Although the physical action of me curled up on the couch with my laptop is essentially the same, it’s never the same place in my own mind.

Now it’s all well and good to realize the problem, but what am I supposed to do with the knowledge. Honestly, I have no flipping idea. It feels like I have a diagnosis, but no cure. It’s simple enough to say “Well, you just have to apply yourself more,” but if it was that easy, I wouldn’t be in this situation. And applying myself more won’t fix the boredom issue. Even college, which I greatly enjoy, gets boring after a while of doing the same thing every day.

I feel like I need more motivation than I currently have. The only thing I’ve noticed that’s helped (at least so far) is putting what I’m doing out there for the world to see. It’s the reason I’ve kept working on the story I’ve been writing the last few weeks, and it’s also the reason I keep coming back to this blog. But I don’t want to do that with everything I work on, because then it would feel like I’m doing it at the point of spear. And that will suck the fun right out of it, I’m sure.

Is this what adulthood is like? If so, I think I want a refund.


Concussed Again

Do yourself a favor: never get a concussion. Seriously, they stink.

This is my second concussion. Of course this one had to come on midterm week. Well, there goes my spring break. I’m sure you’re wondering what happened. Yeah… It’s a funny story.

Let’s start with, my mom bought me these ice cleat things a few weeks ago. They’re bright green and they wrap around your shoes to help you walk on ice. I find that they actually work the few times I’ve tried them. But of course, the two times that I really needed them, I wasn’t wearing them. My fault entirely, of course.

The first time was a week or so ago when I went to see my first hockey game. It was awesome, by the way. We won. Go Flames, and all that. Anyway, I knew it was going to be a difficult trek back up the mountain to my room when my friend from North Dakoda walked out the door and slipped on the ice (Now, he claims that it was because he stepped on a sign that slipped on the ice, and that’s why he slipped. *Nods politely* Sure, sure, whatever you say). It had been freezing rain for the last two hours, so literally everything outside was covered in ice.

Side note: Have you ever experienced freezing rain? It’s like rain, but frozen. And hard.

Anyway. It had snowed earlier, and the grounds people had shoveled my sidewalks. They did not, on the other hand, salt them. For those of you who are from the South, snowy sidewalks + freezing rain = black ice. Yeah…

I had to walk back through a foot of snow because all of the sidewalks on my way back to my room were completely covered in ice. On the bright side, I called my mom along the way (because I thought, “Well, if I fall and hit my head on the sidewalk, I’d like someone to know about it), and my running commentary on the nature of ice and my deep-seated hatred of such kept her and my little sister in fits of giggled until I got back. Good for them.

I’m a Southerner, okay? We like snow, because it’s a novelty. Ice… we’re not so fond of.

That was the first time I really could have used those ice cleats. The second time was this past Friday morning. I was all ready for class that day. I didn’t make it ten feet before I found the black ice in front of my dorm. With my face. Well, technically, I found the black ice, with my feet. I found the wet concrete with my face.

And that’s how I got another concussion.

I apologize if this post has been a bit rambling. That tends to happen when you damage your brain. On the upside, since I can’t really focus on anything for longer than ten minutes, I’m going home early, and I’ll have to make up all my tests when I come back. I think that’s an upside, anyway. Can’t really tell. Brain injury, you know.

Be safe out there, everyone. And watch out for ice!

Get Estuary

Some of you know that I run a literary magazine, called Estuary. At least, I’m fairly certain I’ve mentioned it before… Part of the reason that I haven’t been able to blog much (other than school and scholarship competitions) is that I’ve been hard at work formatting and editing my magazine. Now, I’d like to reveal the new cover of the March issue.

 Estuary 2nd issue cover

If you guys are interested in reading this issue or the last one, click here to go to the website (which I made myself, by the way). I think you’re going to love this issue. It’s only my second issue, but already, it’s way better than the first. I originally started the magazine as a high school literary magazine, but now I’ve opened it up to all people. And when I say all people, I mean all. I had writers and poets send in submissions from all over the USA and even from the UK and Africa.

I was really amazed by the quality of the work for this issue. Another thing this issue has is different artwork. The last issue had beautiful photographs, but that was it. This issue has photos, drawings, and paintings (including one from my little sister). I also had more stories in the issue, including one from me that originally appeared on this blog (so you can say you saw it first).

I hope you all check it out when it comes out. The next issue will be released March 1, 2014.

Write for My Magazine! (You know you want to)

You probably don’t know this, because I’m pretty sure that I’ve never mentioned it on the blog, but I started a literary magazine a few months ago. It’s called Estuary. At first, it was just supposed to be for high school students, which worked well for approximately one issue. I don’t quite have enough (okay, I don’t have nearly enough) content to justify putting out a new issue, but I’d really like to. In light of that, I’ve decided to open the magazine up to people of all ages. I wanted to write about this on my blog because I know I have a bunch of awesomely talented people who follow me. I’d like to give you guys a chance to write for Estuary.

Let me give you a bit more information. First and foremost, I’m not going to pay you. Sorry. Estuary is a free magazine that I digitally distribute through an e-mail attachment. The magazine in its current format has several categories.

Poet Garden– This is the first section in the magazine. Basically, it’s exactly what it sounds like; a place for poetry. I currently have one poem in there, and it’s mine, so I am badly in need of content for this section.

Our Opinions– This is one of the most fun sections and the only one that has a topic. This section is for debating and arguing. Like I said, fun. The topic for this issue is “Global Warming: Fact or Fake.” If you like writing the occasion persuasive essay, this section is for you. I really don’t care what your opinion is on the subject, so don’t think you’re going to offend me. The point of this section is to get all sides of the argument. I don’t have any articles for this one yet, so you’ve got a great chance of being in the magazine if you decide to write something. In case you were wondering, the topic for the last one was “Evolution vs. Creationism.” It was lively to say the least.

In the News– This is the current affairs section. I’ll accept any articles about things that are happening now. For example, articles about the current situation in Egypt are just as welcome as articles about which celebrity recently became pregnant. This issue will be coming out in late January or early February, so keep that in mind. I’ve actually never been able to use this section because in the last issue, no one wrote anything for it.

Story Corner– One of my favorite sections. This one is for short stories. All of the ones I have right now are serialized. Try to keep the stories relatively short, because this is a popular section. I have a few stories already, but I wouldn’t mind a few more.

The Gallery– This is the artwork/photography section. Well, it should be the artwork/photography section, but all I got last issue was photography. At least it was beautiful photography. However, this issue, I’m looking for more artwork. This can mean paintings, drawings, sculptures (pictures of them, anyway), and more. I’ll also accept more photography, but understand that I’m going to give more preference to any non-photo artwork that is sent in. I think I have around three pictures for this section so far.

Review– This section is for reviewing anything that you’ve seen, read, or played. I’ll accept book reviews, movie reviews, TV show reviews, and game reviews. This is another section that I wasn’t able to use last issue because of lack of interest.

Hobby Shop– This one is about all of the things you do. Your hobbies, interests, sports. It could be writing, stamp collecting, biking, knitting, anything. Just write about what you like to do. Pretty simple. I don’t have anything for this section yet, so you got a good chance of being in the magazine if you choose you write.

Talk to Me– This is the section for letters and comments that people have written about the magazine and the articles inside it. Obviously, I couldn’t put this section in my last issue since it was the first one. If you’re interested in starring in this section, you’ll have to read the magazine first. I’ll explain that in a second.

Alright, that’s all of the sections in Estuary. If you are interested in writing or sending in artwork for the magazine, just e-mail me at and I’ll send you the guidelines for submission. If you’re interested in receiving a free copy of the last magazine or having your name added to the e-mail list, email me at the address above. Also, please, please, please share this with people you think might be interested. I really need the submissions.

P.S. Go like the magazine’s Facebook page while you’re at it: