Thoughts on not dating until I was 21

I’m one of those weirdos who never dated until they were an adult. At this point, I’m starting to think that was better for me.

A little background first. I was homeschooled, and although I went to a small co-op all through high school, my dating pool was somewhat… shall we say, limited. There were a few cute guys around, but either they weren’t interested in me, or I was far too focused on school to notice any interest. So I ended up not dating in high school.

Honestly, looking back at the person that I was then, I’m really glad. I was busy figuring out who I was and learning to make friends again after getting bullied heavily in middle school. I didn’t know what kind of guy I needed or what kind of relationship I wanted. I firmly believe that if I’d dated back then, one of us would have ended up with our heart broken.

Speaking of broken hearts, getting one seems to be a general expectation for life as a young person. I’m not sure why, but our society seems to expect young people to go through break-ups and get their hearts broken. My guess is that it probably has something to do with the fact that a lot of teens and even younger kids do date.

Kids and teens are dumb. That’s just a fact of life. I was dumb then too. If you stick two young and dumb people together that early in life, it seems inevitable that someone’s going to get hurt. Thankfully, I avoided that.

Now, I’m not saying it was all sunshine and roses. I was lonely a lot of the time and after I was single for, oh you know, all my life, I started really wanting someone to love. But after all that, finally finding that person is all the more sweeter for the waiting.

It’s wonderful getting to be with someone as mature as I am. Sure, we can be goofy and playful at times, but at the same time, we can avoid the petty, immature, angsty teen stuff that we’d have been going through if we had been dating in high school. High school is an scary time, and adding dating someone just as young and inexperienced as you on top of everything else you are going through can put a lot of pressure on a person.

I want to say that there’s nothing inherently wrong with dating when you’re younger. For some people, it can work out. But for many more the pressure of life as a teen ends up being more than enough to force a break-up.

So if there are any younger people out there reading this blog and you’re feeling bad because you’ve never dated anyone, stop. There’s nothing wrong with waiting until you are older. One day, you will understand more about yourself, your beliefs, and what you need in a significant other.

And trust me, when you do find that special person, it will be all the more amazing for having waited.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Help! I Keep Getting in Trouble with my Parents!

I’ve noticed that I have a good amount of teenage followers on my blog. I’ve decided to write an advice post for any that might find themselves on the wrong side of their parents. (And it’s good advice for everyone to follow, not just teens.)

Are you are a teen wishing for a way to avoid getting in trouble with your parents? Would you like to stop losing your privileges? Would you like to not get grounded “for the rest of your life” every few weeks? Then boy do I have a few tips for you! Just follow these simple tips and you are guaranteed* to not get in trouble anymore.

1.    Control your tone of voice.

Seriously, this is the easiest thing in the world. All you have to do is make sure that you do not use sarcasm when addressing your folks. Sarcasm may be fine around your friends, but your elders might not appreciate it. I don’t know about you, but this first rule is the cause of most of the issues in my house. I’ve seen punishments extended for months just because of a bad tone of voice. Just learn to talk to your parents with a pleasant tone.

2.    Come home on time.

No matter how much you want to stay out late, if you have a curfew, you need to stick to it. If you really need to be out late, ask your parents. If they say no, abide by their wishes.

3.    Do your schoolwork.

One way to really tick off your parents is to not do your schoolwork. If you want to be successful at life (and your parents do want that for you), you need to be educated. I’ll be the first to admit that our current system of public schools in the U.S. leave much to be desired, but you still need to do your homework. If you don’t do your homework, people will think you are lazy, and employers don’t hire lazy people.

4.    Say you’re sorry.

This is a big one. Apologizing can be one of the most painful things in the world. But it’s worth it. When you’re wrong (and you are a teen, so you can assume that you will be often), you always need to say sorry.

5.    Do not argue with your parents.

Even if you think your parents are wrong, don’t argue with them. Chances are that they are probably right. Even if they aren’t, arguing is still a surefire way to get you in trouble. And whatever you do, do not say that you are “debating” and not “arguing.” This will just make your parents (and others) mad.

6.    Obey.

Really? You don’t want to get in trouble and yet you constantly disobey your parents. That’s not going to work. Your parents have reasons for telling you to do the things they tell you to do. Just try to remember that they have lived long enough to accumulate a bag full of regrets and lessons learned. All they want to do is make sure that you do not end up making the same mistakes they did as a reckless and know-it-all teenager.

7.    Do not scream at your parents.

I know that the impulse to raise your voice when you feel angry or wronged is very seductive, but don’t do it. It is a bad idea in almost every instance. Even if your parents yell at you, that does not give you free reign to yell back. Parents dislike being yelled at in general, and they definitely don’t enjoy it when their own offspring is doing the yelling.

8.    Do not lie to your parents.

Your parents have known you since the moment of your birth. If you are in your teens, they have been watching you very closely for at least thirteen years now. They know when you are bull-crapping them. Really! So don’t try to get away with it, because they will always find out. There is almost nothing that parents hate worse than their children lying. If you mess up, don’t hide it. Lying about it will only make it worse for you.

            Of course there are other rules that you should know to avoid trouble with the parental units, but most of those are common sense. Come to think of it, most of these are common sense too. So, use these eight rules in every interaction with your parents and you should definitely see a decrease in the amount of punishments you receive. Easy right?

 

*Well, not really guaranteed per se…