Thoughts on not dating until I was 21

I’m one of those weirdos who never dated until they were an adult. At this point, I’m starting to think that was better for me.

A little background first. I was homeschooled, and although I went to a small co-op all through high school, my dating pool was somewhat… shall we say, limited. There were a few cute guys around, but either they weren’t interested in me, or I was far too focused on school to notice any interest. So I ended up not dating in high school.

Honestly, looking back at the person that I was then, I’m really glad. I was busy figuring out who I was and learning to make friends again after getting bullied heavily in middle school. I didn’t know what kind of guy I needed or what kind of relationship I wanted. I firmly believe that if I’d dated back then, one of us would have ended up with our heart broken.

Speaking of broken hearts, getting one seems to be a general expectation for life as a young person. I’m not sure why, but our society seems to expect young people to go through break-ups and get their hearts broken. My guess is that it probably has something to do with the fact that a lot of teens and even younger kids do date.

Kids and teens are dumb. That’s just a fact of life. I was dumb then too. If you stick two young and dumb people together that early in life, it seems inevitable that someone’s going to get hurt. Thankfully, I avoided that.

Now, I’m not saying it was all sunshine and roses. I was lonely a lot of the time and after I was single for, oh you know, all my life, I started really wanting someone to love. But after all that, finally finding that person is all the more sweeter for the waiting.

It’s wonderful getting to be with someone as mature as I am. Sure, we can be goofy and playful at times, but at the same time, we can avoid the petty, immature, angsty teen stuff that we’d have been going through if we had been dating in high school. High school is an scary time, and adding dating someone just as young and inexperienced as you on top of everything else you are going through can put a lot of pressure on a person.

I want to say that there’s nothing inherently wrong with dating when you’re younger. For some people, it can work out. But for many more the pressure of life as a teen ends up being more than enough to force a break-up.

So if there are any younger people out there reading this blog and you’re feeling bad because you’ve never dated anyone, stop. There’s nothing wrong with waiting until you are older. One day, you will understand more about yourself, your beliefs, and what you need in a significant other.

And trust me, when you do find that special person, it will be all the more amazing for having waited.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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