I’m NOT allergic to kiwis

So in the last few months, I’ve been having a lot of problems with my digestion. Every couple of weeks I eat something, and then my intestines attempt to escape from my body.

Let’s just say it’s not fun. Basically, I seem to have developed a food allergy. I haven’t quite figured out what is causing the issues. I’ve gone through thinking it was milk and then thinking maybe it was soda, and now I’m back to milk again.

So I’m not going to drink soda or milk for a little while, and see if can avoid the pain. Which sucks. Because I like both of those things.

But this post isn’t about me complaining that I can’t drink soda and milk for while. Actually, this post is about something entirely different, something I’m not allergic to.

Kiwis!

Evil Kiwi

An evil fruit.

I love kiwis. I don’t eat them very often, but I was grocery shopping the other day, and I saw some kiwis. I thought they would make a nice snack in their raw form, and I could freeze a few to use in smoothies. Which was a good plan.

Until I tried to, you know, eat them. I made myself a bowl of pineapples and kiwis to go with my dinner tonight. I ate most of the bowl and then I noticed that my tongue and my lips were burning.

You know that feeling you get after you’ve burned your tongue on something hot? That sort of itchy, stinging, raw feeling? Multiply that by four or five times and that’s what my tongue and lips feel like right now.

My first thought was, “Oh great, I’ve developed another food allergy. Is there any food that isn’t trying to kill me?!”

I Googled “what does a food allergy feel like?” That… wasn’t super helpful. So I Googled “why does my tongue hurt when I eat kiwis?”

That was significantly more helpful. Suddenly, all I found was articles about people who burnt their tongues with kiwis. And pineapples. Apparently, it is very common for people to have bad reactions to pineapples and kiwis in particular.

It wasn’t that I’m allergic to the fruit. I just so happened to eat two of the most acidic foods on the planet. And they tried to eat me back.

Now I’m stuck with a half-eaten bowl of kiwis and pineapples and horribly itchy, stinging lips.

Oh, and two of things that I found online that could help with the pain were Coca-Cola and milk. In other words, two things I can’t eat right now. Awesome.

Here’s the most horrifying GIF I could find related to kiwis. Because they hurt me.

horrifying kiwi.gif

P.S. I still love kiwis. *cries*

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