Dear Lynchburg Pedestrians and Drivers

Dear Lynchburg Pedestrians and Drivers,

First off, the drivers. I want to talk to you all first because I want to spend a lot more time talking to the pedestrians. Drivers, mainly, I want to beg you to turn off your brights. It is extremely difficult to drive in the mountains when I can’t see where I’m going. I very much do not want to plow my car either into the guard rail or into you.

Lynchburg is a very bright place. Ask my sister. She could barely sleep in my room when she came to visit because of the light coming in through the windows. With the exception of that weird stretch of highway where the lights suddenly disappear, every square inch of this city is LIT. And not in a good way. So turn off those bright lights, because when you don’t, I drive around with those little blobs in my eyes that I can’t see around.

Also, I’m sorry about that guy in the truck I almost ran over the other day. I forgot that Lynchburg inconsistently doesn’t have acceleration lanes. My bad, man.

Now, the PEDESTRIANS.

Now look, I remember being a pedestrian before I got a car. It sucks, especially once it starts getting colder. I’ve almost been run over by cars before (twice in the same day once). I’ve already established that Lynchburg drivers can be kinda dumb. However, there are things that you can do to avoid getting run down like a deer on a country road.

For starters, if it’s dark outside, don’t wear dark clothing and then run in front of cars expecting them to stop. WE CAN’T SEE YOU. Even if your skin is white as snow, that doesn’t guarantee that I will be capable of seeing you. As the air gets colder and the clothing starts covering more body parts, this is going to become more of a problem.

Also, maybe just don’t run in front of cars. I know that a lot of you, especially at Liberty, are trying to get to class on time. I get it. I once had to make the Green Hall to Demoss Hall trek myself. Fifteen minutes is not enough time between classes. However, you won’t make it to class on time if you end up splayed out across the front of my hood. CROSS AT THE CROSSWALKS.

And speaking of crosswalks, when you’re in one, walk quickly. You have the right-of-way, sure, but that doesn’t mean you need to walk like a fricken’ snail. Move your tush. Save the deep thinking about that one question on your test you weren’t so sure about for the sidewalk.

Also bicyclists suck. All of them. This is just a fact.

Okay, that’s enough grumbling. What about you guys? Have drivers or pedestrians been getting on your nerves lately?

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4 thoughts on “Dear Lynchburg Pedestrians and Drivers

  1. mobiuswolf says:

    Haven’t seen a vehicle beside UPS in months. Nor a pedestrian. Either would have to be lost.

    My advice? Get a beat up old 1970 plymouth fury and drive real fast.
    Everyone magically disappears from your path. Trust me. ;o)

  2. Wow this is every one of my thoughts LOL

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