Okay, so I don’t really hate squirrels. I mean, how could I possibly hate something with a tail that FLUFFY?
But, the squirrels in my backyard are starting make me want to release the hound (my dog, Ginger, who let’s be honest couldn’t catch a snail).
Usually, I really enjoy the squirrels in my backyard. It’s fun to watch them scamper around and long jump from one branch to another. But this year’s batch of squirrels got… weird.
It all started one day when I was walking my dog. I was standing right outside my back door and I heard a thunk. I looked around, trying to figure out where the sound came from. I saw our SUV and realized that a pecan or branch must have fallen from our tree. I decided to ignore it and encouraged my dog to pee so I could go back inside and continue my school work (yes, this is my life). A few minutes later, to my surprise, I heard another thunk. Okay, odd, but not too uncommon. C’mon, dog, go already. I have… Government. And then I heard it again.
At this point, I got suspicious. I walked a few feet closer to the nut tree and craned my head up. And there it was. A squirrel. Sitting in our tree. Throwing nuts at our car. And then he started yelling at me. I have to tell you, if you’ve never had a squirrel yell at you, it’s quite an experience. They make this sort of chittering sound. So, this dumb rodent was sitting in MY tree, throwing nuts on my ride.
It gets weirder. They’ve been shredding our nuts. Oh, that came out wrong. Let me try again. The squirrels have been destroying our pecans. We’re used to them eating the pecans and storing them everywhere, but that’s not what they’re doing. They are plucking the not yet ripe pecans off the branch and digging out the nutty goodness and then tearing the shell to little bits and throwing the remains on our lawn. So now, our lawn has become a minefield of these stupid little pieces of shredded pecan shell. This is especially irritating to someone like me, who likes to go outside bare-foot into the middle of winter.
So, now you have it. This is why I hate these annoying little rodents. Let me know if you’ve had any interesting fluffy demon stories.